May 26th

Eight years ago today I said "I do," to my best friend. Mat and I tried to make our wedding ceremony personal by writing our own wedding vows. Here are the vows I said to my husband as we stood outside on that drizzly Memorial Day weekend:

"Mat, you have loved me unconditionally for the past four years just as I have loved you. It is because of this true love that I come here today to take you as my partner in life, my husband. I will treasure our friendship each day and remember how truly blessed I am. I will strive to encourage, support, comfort and defend you through our many joys and sorrows. I will respect you as my friend and husband, therefore maintaining loyalty in my commitment to you. I will love you faithfully and strive to show you daily, so that as we face our future together you many find comfort in knowing I will always be there. Most of all, I will rejoice and thank the Lord for completing me with the gift of you. Through this commitment I am releasing my fears and embracing my faith and if ever may I doubt I will remember this time and why we came together this day. This is my solemn vow because, in you, I have found the one my soul loves. May God guide us and bless us from this moment forward."

I typed these words, taped them to an index card, and gave them to the pastor to hold during the ceremony. They are now kept in my hope chest and occasionally I take them out to reminisce and remind myself of the words I spoke that day. I've grown and changed in many ways since that day eight years ago, but the vows still seem as appropriate today as they did back then. Marriage takes work. Some days it's much easier than others. I think Mat and I have been blessed with a fairly effortless marriage thus far. We have jumped through several hoops together already including moving four times, changing jobs, continuing our education, and perhaps biggest of all-battling infertility. Each of those situations has been hard, but in the end it has brought us closer and further developed our relationship. This year, perhaps, brings about the biggest change. We face parenthood together. Not only parenthood, but making a huge move and beginning a very different lifestyle. It's no secret that I haven't been overjoyed about making this big move-at least at this time and point in my life. I'm excited about Mat's job and what it means for our family, but sad to leave my own job and the friendships we have formed here (not to mention the weather). But there has been one part of my vows that I have tried to remind myself of over and over again..."Through this commitment I am releasing my fears and embracing my faith and if ever may I doubt I will remember this time and why we came together this day." I have many, many fears about this move-what to do with our house here, me finding a job, adjusting to cold weather again, what Iowa will be like, finding childcare for Mathew, etc. etc. but somehow I know that just as everything else in our life has, it will all work itself out. I'll have my husband, and now my son, and really at the end of the day, those are by far the two most important things.

This anniversary finds us a little tight on money. No weekend getaway or elaborate gifts, but we are going to a special dinner tonight while a friend watches Mathew for us. I've received the best possible gift ever though this year, and that of course is my son.