My Sweet Baby Boy

Who knew just how much my life was about to change when I posted that last blog. It was the real deal. I got my wish. I got to experience contractions and the beginning stages of labor along with that feeling of "time to go to the hospital." It was just enough, without ever being too much to bear and I'm thankful I had the experience.

Due to my extreme lack of sleep right now and inability to probably form complete thoughts that make sense, I'll cut straight to the point. Mathew was born on his due date via c-section at 12:03 AM. He came into this world weighing 8lbs. 14 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long. The rest of the morning went nothing like I expected and just alone to find out his weight took several hours.

They quickly began working on Mathew once they took him out of me. At first it just seemed like the norm. I was feeling calm about it, but it became obvious that something was not right. The 2 people working on him weren't talking and before we knew it he was taken. Mat cut the cord, I was allowed to give him a quick kiss on the cheek and off he went. We wouldn't see (if you even want to call it that) him for 4 1/2 more hours. It was nothing like I'd expected. There was no holding my baby, no bonding with him, no picture taking, no sponge bath or watching him be weighed.

I tried to remain optimistic while I was in recovery. We just kept being told they were working on him and would update us when they were done. It just didn't feel right. Soon, a pediatrician came and told us that they were stabilizing Mathew and that he would be flying to Florida Hospital South where they could better treat him. She said he'd asparated meconium. I'll admit she didn't have the best bedside manner in breaking this news to us, but luckily my nurse was much better at trying to break it down for us. They assured us it wasn't completely uncommon and that he probably just needed some time for his lungs to clear up, etc.

2 staff from FL Hospital South had flown in to work on Mathew and then around 4:30 they ended up transporting him by ambulance back to their hospital. They were wonderful! They explained things much better and even though we were in shock, I think we were at least starting to understand what was happening and why it was so serious. Before they took Mathew away, we finally got to see him for a moment. It was such a sad sight. They had him in an incubator, on a ventilator, with tubes everywhere, and then the incubator was strapped to a big gurney with attached oxygen tanks and other materials. We were only able to touch his foot through the little porthole. It was the most precious, softest, little chubby foot I've ever touched. That's the only contact I've had with my sweet baby boy.

Mathew spent most of the day at that hospital. Mat was able to go and be with him. My brother and Mat's grandparents were also able to see him. Obviously I could not go, but I was so thankful that Mat could. I know it must have been extremely hard on him. I'm jealous and I'm not all at the same time. As they were leaving to head back here to the Celebration Hospital, the NICU called and asked them to come back. Mathew was making some progress, but it seemed they weren't completely satisfied and they felt better moving him to Winnie Palmer Hospital. The reason being is that Winne Palmer has an ECMO machine. Winnie Palmer is one of the best NICU's known and is the only hospital in central FL to even have this machine. Here's a link to quickly describe what it does. http://orlandohealth.com/WinniePalmerHospital/NeonatalSpecialties/ECMO/ECMO.aspx?Pid=710&Wid=21

Luckily, so far Mathew has not had to have been placed on this machine. He's currently on a vent and it's breathing for him 100%. He was 3 IV's-2 in his belly button through a main artery and one in the crook of his arm. These are providing him with fluids, monitoring his BP, and keeping him sedated. His nurse tells me that his coloring is good and his vitals are good and we give praise for that news. We don't know much else besides that right now. It seems as if it will be a long road, but one never really knows. Mat heard time frames of 2-3 weeks mentioned and then 5-6. It's just a waiting game and we have to just see how he responds to treatment. His lungs have so much healing to do.

We beg for your prayers for our little baby. It is a helpless feeling unlike anything I have ever known. To carry something inside you for 9 months and feel like you can provide for him better than anybody, and then suddenly he's miles away from you and you can't even so much as touch him is just miserable. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. Yet, I know thousands of people experience this everyday. It doesn't make our pain seem any easier right now though.

We are so very touched by the phone calls, emails, text messages, etc. It's hard for us to keep up with them, and it's also just hard right now to even talk about it. Please forgive us if we don't call you back. Our priority right now is on trying to get a little rest, allow me to heal, and be available to our little one. We will keep the updates coming as often as we can. Please pray for Mathew. God chose him out of 8 embryos to be our one survivor, nine months ago. I must believe He has a plan for his life and that he will continue to be the little fighter and pull through.

We look forward to updating you again soon.