Mommy and Mathew Meet!

I actually wrote this blog on Wednesday evening 3/11. I had some trouble getting it to post though, so I am trying again. I'll post a more current update asap.

What an incredibly long day it was today. Words can't even explain. But, it ended with mommy finally being able to bond with Mathew! I almost titled this post, Mommy's Meltdown because it felt like that too, but we're sticking with the positive. :)

As of our visit there last night, Mathew is continuing to make steady progress. His oxygen level, which started at 100% is down to 29% now and the nitric oxide medication which started at 10 is now down to 6.3 I'll be honest, I don't totally understand what all the levels and numbers mean. I know that they act like there is still a long way to go, but they are also so impressed by his improvements-especially given the short amount of time. They are practically betting that he will not end up needing the ecmo machine. Even his sedation level is beginning to be weaned slightly. They act like he will still be on the ventilator for some time, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Yesterday started off well for me, but was full of ups and downs. I got some much needed sleep and did well with staying on top of the pain level along with pumping. My mom helped me through the night and it really helped me relax and regain some strength. Unfortunately during the morning I wound up with some bad nausea that really slowed me down and turned into a headache that I haven't quite been able to shake. The severity comes and goes, but it's been unlike any other headache I've ever had. My ears ring, I hear muffled noises, my vision gets all blurry, and the pain is so extreme. The light really seems to bother it. I've never been one to have problems with headaches so we're trying to figure out if it's a migraine, a spinal headache, or just a really bad stress headache. That's the only problem with checking out of the hospital so early....I miss out on 2 more days of rest and care. But my doctor was clear that I can call them if I have any problems, so I will definitely do so if it doesn't improve today! I think I'm healing from the c-section pretty well. Obviously very sore still, but as long as I stay on top of the pain control, I am able to move around pretty well and make progress. I think it will get easier over the next few days.

Once finally leaving the hospital, we headed to the Ronald McDonald House (RMH). This place alone will make you cry! I will elaborate on it more later, but it is just truly amazing. We are staying here indefinitely and couldn't ask for a bigger blessing at this point! It's only a block away from the hospital. It will allow us to go back and forth to Mathew throughout the day, but yet still get the rest and nourishment we need for me to heal and us to take care of ourselves. I already know RMH will hold a special place in our hearts forever. I look forward to sharing more details about it with you later.

Seeing our little angel last night was just breathtaking. To finally touch him and talk to him was an answered prayer. I felt like my heart started to beat again. When he opened his eyes and just stared at me I couldn't help but think he knew exactly who I am. I asked if we would be able to hold him soon and the answer was no. That breaks my heart, but I'm hoping that continued progress and prayer will put him in my arms before we know it.

We look forward to spending a lot of time with him today, so hopefully we'll have some more updates by night time. Love and thanks to all of you!