Angels Among Us

Last night, we ventured out to Celebration Hospital. Nothing too exciting, but I had to return a breast pump rental. I wasn't quite comfortable driving that far and back with MJ by myself, so we went together after Mat got off work. Mat stayed in the car with the baby and I went on in to return it. I knew it would feel strange going back to the L&D floor, but I wasn't quite prepared for all the emotions it would bring back. It feel REALLY strange to walk through the halls. It's hard to explain. Each time we'd been to that hospital before it brought about such feelings of excitement and eagerness. Whether it was going to our childbirth classes or going when we really thought "it's time!" The title of the L&D floor is called "The Baby Place." I never expected to leave without a baby. I can vividly remember sitting in my hospital room all by myself and hearing the baby in the mom's room next door crying. It was such a weird feeling to be lying in a room after just having a baby and yet not having a baby. I felt so cheated. I guess all the circumstances and emotions of those few days turned the feelings of excitement and eagerness I'd previously associated with The Baby Place into feelings of sadness and fear. It came back to me quite overwhelmingly the brief few moments I was there last night.

The positive part of the night though was that I got to see Nina, the nurse that really was the silver lining in the whole experience the night Mathew was born. She was only on call that night, but she got called in for our birth. She came in with such a wonderful, friendly attitude and took good care of me the whole time, explaining every little step throughout the preparation and during the c-section. She was with me in the recovery room. It was just her and Mat and I for an hour while we waited to hear what was going on with our son. You could tell she tried her best to keep us focused and thinking positively. When the pediatrician that was on call that evening came in to give Mat and I the news so abruptly, we were so overwhelmed and confused and of course very emotional. That pediatrician didn't have the best bedside manner, but it was Nina who took my hand as I cried and tried to explain things to us more calmly and give us hope. Even as she wheeled me to my room later, she peeked in the nursery to give us an update that they were still working on Mathew, and then she checked back in my room with updates on his status later throughout those early morning hours. I've thought about Nina several times since. I was so appreciative of her caring demeanor and never got the chance to tell her. I was so glad to see her working last night and she immediately remembered me. We gave each other a big hug and she of course wanted to know how Mathew was doing. I was so glad to have the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to me. I told her she was an angel for me that night.

You just never know in your daily life whether it be at work, in the supermarket, a restaurant, etc. how your actions might affect someone else. For me, I'm so thankful that Nina came into work that late Sunday evening with such a good attitude. I don't have many positive associations surrounding our experience that night, but her compassion was definitely appreciated. I hope we can all have that affect on someone at some point.