The Weekday's Wrap Up

Kick back, get comfy, go grab a snack....it's gonna be a long one. Mama's got some catchin' up to do!

Darn those pigs and the stupid flu! I used to declare cute little piggies as my favorite animals, but my mind has been changed. In all seriousness though, this whole H1N1 thing is becoming quite the big deal. For awhile I'd been thinking, "Oh, it's not really that bad. The media is just playing it up a lot. People are panicking and overreaching." And yes, to a degree I do still think there is a small bit of that, but now perhaps maybe I am even one of them! Ack! The more and more people I know that have been affected, the closer it hits to home. I know dozens of children that have come down with it, a critically ill adult in St. Louis, and now our first death here in Dubuque from it. Mat and I had decided a couple months ago that we would prefer not to get the vaccine for MJ. It wasn't even available at the time, but we were just talking hypothetically about it and figured with a rapid release and no studies to show possible side effects, it wasn't worth the risk. He's not in daycare, he's not exposed to that many people or crowded, germ filled situations except the occasional trip to the grocery store, restaurant, etc. and figured he wasn't really at high risk. But the more and more friend's kiddos that have gotten ill, I started to worry a bit. Then, it took me off guard this week when the pediatrician's office called me in the evening to offer the H1N1 vaccine for Mathew. He's classified as "high risk," as all young children are. But then within that high risk group, he's even at a higher risk for complications due to his lung problems at birth. When you look at how healthy and happy he is now, it's hard to believe that's still a factor. But it is, and it's a big one, for this first year at least. So, even though my gut reaction was "No, I don't want some scary vaccine with possible damaging long term side effects injected into my baby," I did feel kind of guilty saying no to protecting my high risk of the high risk baby. Sigh. What's a parent to do? So, Mat and I discussed it and I researched the facts as much as possible, and then we decided to go for it. It's almost became a matter of "how could I not," rather than "how could I?" If he were to get H1N1, develop lung complications, and wind up back in the NICU, I couldn't bear it. And to think I would've been point blank offered the opportunity to try to prevent it and turned it away, would've been really tough to swallow. Granted, if he'd had a bad reaction to the vaccine or develops some unknown side effect down the road, the guilt will be rough too, but I can at least know I did my best to protect him, given the knowledge I had. This vaccine business is tough-at least for me, anyways! But, yesterday afternoon I took him in and he got the shot and was such a little trooper. Cried for all of a second and then was over it and didn't seem phased by it the rest of the day. The vaccine isn't available here for Mat or I anyone not at high risk actually, and the follow up booster shot that MJ needs may or may not be available when it comes time. We'll all be doing our best to stay healthy during this time. Scary stuff!

While I'm rambling on about medical things, I have to share some exciting news! I was overdue for the dreaded yearly check up with the OBGYN. And of course it's never very fun when you have to find a new one and introduce your lady business to a complete stranger for the first time. Ugh! As much as I dreaded it and tried to think of every excuse to cancel the appointment, I went. And I'm so glad I did! The doctor I chose at complete random was extremely nice. Of course I had to share all my history with him, including IVF and the emergency c-section and all that jazz. I was so impressed on both levels. He made it quite clear that I should've never been encouraged to go past 39 weeks with a breech, fairly large baby and that in the future that would never happen. And he also filled me in on the three possible choices for IVF clinics, should we decide to go that route again down the road. One of them, about an hour away in Wisconsin is new (less than 2 years), and is having great success rates, and trying to keep their costs very low while they build their practice over the next several years. Their IVF costs runs about $6,000!!!! This is unheard of. Waaayyyy less than anything I've ever heard of and less than 1/2 of what we paid to conceive Mathew. Not to mention that our new insurance now actually chips in up to 50% of some fertility expenses, which is also pretty unheard of. This is all so encouraging and exciting to think that we could possibly be able to afford to do IVF once again down the road. I was so excited to hear this option. Perhaps it's just one of God's reasons for placing us here?

I'm heading out of town for a quick trip to Chicago later this afternoon. One of my college friends is pregnant and is having a baby shower. It will be kind of liberating to get away for a day and enjoy some girl time. I'm also a little sad about not being here to tuck MJ in for the first time ever. It feels really strange to think I'll go 24 hours without feeding him, changing him, reading to him, playing with him, etc. It's definitely a mix of emotions. I know him and Mat will have some great daddy-son time though and I'll be so excited to see them both when I return tomorrow night.

It is supposed to be a beautiful weekend here. Mid 60's and sunny---just gorgeous! I hope everyone has a wonderful, healthy weekend.