"Every Mom is a Working Mom"

I saw this quote somewhere yesterday for Mother's Day, and it kind of resonated with me given my recent dilemma over where to work.  So much for the thought of Clarke not offering me the job and then making the decision for me.  Last Monday, bright and early, I got a call from the Department Chair offering me the job.  Flattered and honored doesn't even describe how extremely proud I was to receive this job offer.  He did state that working on my PhD was a must, which I knew, and that they would like me to choose a program that had a face-to-face component to it, meaning not 100% online.  He was honest in sharing with me that the other candidate was nearing completion with their PhD, but that they really just felt like I was a good fit. 

After the inital flattery, my mind began spinning.  In my head, I felt like I had pretty much already decided that I wouldn't take the job if it were offered to me, but actually being in that position certainly made the decision seem much tougher.  I really wavered over it for two full days.  Honestly, it's one of the hardest decisions that I have ever made.  I can really see myself loving the job, making some great friends, and feeling empowered career wise, again.  On the other hand, beginning back to full-time work while also beginning to take courses again soon, all while having a new baby (hopefully) seemed quite overwhelming.  Coud it be done?  Sure!  But, in the end I just felt like I wouldn't be able to be the mom, wife, and professor I would want to be and still enjoy a good quality of life.  I'm so fortunate that the Ashford University teaching job worked out quite effortlessley and offers me the chance to work 100% from home.  Without that opportunity, there would have been no debate and I would have had to have taken a new job offer in order to earn income.  It's hard to pass up this opportunity, but for right now I feel like teaching online will be a better fit for me.  I'll have so much flexibility, more time at home with MJ, and can still earn some income.  When I finally called to respectfully decline the position at Clarke, he actually told me that he thought I was making the correct decision for this point in my life.  He restated that they'd like to keep me close, and possibly use me to supervise a few student teachers in the coming year, in hopes that something might work out down the road.  I am really hopeful that this will be the case. 

It was one tough decision, but once it was finally made I have really felt at peace with it.  It doesn't have to be permanent, but I think it will really allow me to do many of the things I want to do not only as a mom and wife, but also for myself.  Thanks for the prayers and encouragement during my tough choice!