Made it through "day 28," then 29, and now 30....each day that passes seems reassuring, yet scary. Nothing has happened yet. I still feel lots of cramping and occasional weird symptoms like being light headed, but don't really know what to make out of any of it and try not to over analyze any one thing too much. The conference was a great distraction. I really enjoyed myself and a change of pace for a few days. It's amazing how much I relaxed and began to feel at peace with things.
Each night I look at the picture of our embies and pray for them as well as for our hearts. I pray that God is using this IVF process as a powerful experience in my life for His glory. I pray that regardless of the outcome, He will use me in the lives of other women and families that might experience this emotional hardship. Above all, I most certainly pray that there is a little one thriving inside me right now. And if by chance there's not, then I pray that there is a little baby somewhere that needs a loving home.
One of the biggest hurdles I've faced during this whole process is remembering that I am not alone and that God has a plan for our family. I've mentioned it before, but I am a huge Casting Crowns fan and one of their songs always appeals to this "storm" in our life that we are trying to get through. Praising God through it all is a challenge for me. I'd be a liar if I claimed that it came easy. It doesn't and there have been some days when I've been too sad or angry to pray. But I know that in the midst of it all, God has never left me. He has never been too sad or angry to leave my side. This storm of ours has lasted much longer than I ever expected, yet I know that it is all for a reason and Mat and I will be better for it. I hope that these lyrics might touch someone else's heart, no matter what "storm" you might go through in your life.
Praise You In This Storm
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I am constantly inspired by your words. They are thoughts we've shared before, but to read the words is so amazingly powerful! You have a gift, to be able to share this so openly will certainly help others in your shoes as well as those of us facing our own storms! Here's to day 33! KW
I think of you daily and can't wait to read each new installment. You write so descriptively-you should be an author.
I hope and pray that all is going well. It must take such patience!
You have helped us all grow through your experience.
Fondly, Lisa's mom
Dearest Daughter ~ Your words continue to amaze me, but most of all bless and encourage me and I know many others. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I believe when we do that, which is so hard, God can use that and us to minister to others. As another Casting Crown song says "we are His hands, His feet..." and you are doing just that with your blog. Love, Mom
Post a Comment