If You're Lazy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands!

Clap, clap!

Yup, that would be.  You'll find me one of two places lately-either at work or lying on the couch.  Thank goodness for work to actually get me out of the house a bit, use my brain, and exert a small amount of energy.  But then again, lying on the couch feels so much better!  I feel completely lazy and like a big slacker of a mom and wife lately, but on the other hand I feel too tired to care much about it. 

Luckily MJ is back to a rather independent phase right now where he's pretty happy rolling his little cars all over my legs or bringing me books to read.  I think God knew I needed independent MJ to reappear for a bit and of course my sweet boy obliged!  And just as luckily (is that a phrase??), Mat doesn't seem to mind too much that his wife hasn't cooked much of anything in a few days or done much of anything around the house, although I must say I vacuumed, mopped, AND cleaned the bathroom a couple days ago thank you very much.  :)

Nausea, bloating, and the overall funk has laid in.  I feel like just lying here is draining.  I suppose the teeny tiny baby the size of a raspberry is sucking all my energy right outta me, and as ecstatic as I truly am to be pregnant (honest, I am), I am already looking quite forward to the second trimester!  When I was pregnant with MJ I didn't want to wish a single second away, but I'm guessing I am going to feel slightly different this time.  I'd like to fast forward just a weee little bit.  Less worrying, less nausea, more energy?  Yes, please!

I'm definitely way more sick this go-round than I was with MJ.  The last two days were horrible.  I missed work on Monday because moving faster than a snail's pace seemed like it made the world spin around.  Ick!  Today was much more tolerable and just mild nausea, so I'm hoping maybe the worst is over.  Wishful thinking, maybe?  All meat, and practically anything cooked in general sounds disgusting!  Raw veggies, fruit, and carbs are my friend. 

We are now 8 weeks along.  Each day seems like a giant step.  8 weeks is farther than we've made it the last two times.  8 weeks means little webbed fingers and toes are starting to appear on the baby's tiny hands and feet.  It also means eyelids are beginning to cover its little eyes and he/she is about the size of a kidney bean.  It also means my pants are starting to get very snug.  How does a kidney bean=tight pants?  Hmmm, maybe it's more like excessive carbs=tight pants? 

Worth 1,000 Words

These are just a few of my faves of our recent photo shoot celebrating MJ's 2nd year of life!  I met a woman in town who is an aspiring photographer and she asked if she could take pictures of MJ, and a few of us as a family, in order to gain some experience.  She did this completely for free with the agreement that she could use a few shots of MJ for her photography website.  I'm so pleased with the way they turned out and am thankful for these captured moments! 

No Way!!??!?!?!

Yes, it's side ways and I can't fix it, but really at this point you can't tell what it is anyways, so what's the difference??  It's our BABY!!!!  And our baby has a HEARTBEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh my!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I think I am still in shock.  Keep in mind that we never made it this far with our last two pregnancies! We heard the most glorious sound today....the heartbeat of our baby beating at 122 beats per minute.  Hearing the heartbeat was my absolute most favorite thing with MJ, and it was no different today.  Pure tears of joy!

So the lowdown is:  The baby is measuring at 6 weeks 4 days and I am 6 weeks 6 days, but they acted like that was no concern unless there was a bigger difference.  The heartbeat was perfect and strong for this early on.  The only one slightly cautious thing is there is a pool of blood right next to the sac.  You can see it in the picture.  They said it's very common and typically reabsorbed by your body, but I could experience some bleeding.  Hopefully that won't be the case!  I stay on the progesterone until 12 weeks.  I go back in two weeks for my next appointment, but we won't get to hear the heartbeat again until 12 weeks.  That seems like a looooong time to wait.  But, for now time to celebrate, thank God, and enjoy this moment!!! 

Seriously-can.not.believe.it!!

Thus Far

I haven't really talked much about the pregnancy thus far because I think it's just too hard to even let my mind go there.  Tomorrow is the big day.  We'll have an early ultrasound and should hopefully see a very tiny baby with a strong heartbeat.  It just feels like dejavu though, and I am so afraid that we will look at that screen and see an embryo that stopped growing somewhere in the last couple weeks.  It's really hard to imagine it going anyway but that, but I am realllllllllllly hoping and praying that we see a strong heartbeat!

If symptoms were purely a sign of progress, I would feel quite confident.  I've been more nauseous this go around than any previous pregnancies, waking up all throughout the night to pee, moody, tired, sore boobs, the works!  BUT I know that taking the progesterone alone can cause all those symptoms so it's hard to put too much faith in those. 

We'd really appreciate any final prayers and positive thoughts!  Should have news to share one way or the other tomorrow evening. 

"Every Mom is a Working Mom"

I saw this quote somewhere yesterday for Mother's Day, and it kind of resonated with me given my recent dilemma over where to work.  So much for the thought of Clarke not offering me the job and then making the decision for me.  Last Monday, bright and early, I got a call from the Department Chair offering me the job.  Flattered and honored doesn't even describe how extremely proud I was to receive this job offer.  He did state that working on my PhD was a must, which I knew, and that they would like me to choose a program that had a face-to-face component to it, meaning not 100% online.  He was honest in sharing with me that the other candidate was nearing completion with their PhD, but that they really just felt like I was a good fit. 

After the inital flattery, my mind began spinning.  In my head, I felt like I had pretty much already decided that I wouldn't take the job if it were offered to me, but actually being in that position certainly made the decision seem much tougher.  I really wavered over it for two full days.  Honestly, it's one of the hardest decisions that I have ever made.  I can really see myself loving the job, making some great friends, and feeling empowered career wise, again.  On the other hand, beginning back to full-time work while also beginning to take courses again soon, all while having a new baby (hopefully) seemed quite overwhelming.  Coud it be done?  Sure!  But, in the end I just felt like I wouldn't be able to be the mom, wife, and professor I would want to be and still enjoy a good quality of life.  I'm so fortunate that the Ashford University teaching job worked out quite effortlessley and offers me the chance to work 100% from home.  Without that opportunity, there would have been no debate and I would have had to have taken a new job offer in order to earn income.  It's hard to pass up this opportunity, but for right now I feel like teaching online will be a better fit for me.  I'll have so much flexibility, more time at home with MJ, and can still earn some income.  When I finally called to respectfully decline the position at Clarke, he actually told me that he thought I was making the correct decision for this point in my life.  He restated that they'd like to keep me close, and possibly use me to supervise a few student teachers in the coming year, in hopes that something might work out down the road.  I am really hopeful that this will be the case. 

It was one tough decision, but once it was finally made I have really felt at peace with it.  It doesn't have to be permanent, but I think it will really allow me to do many of the things I want to do not only as a mom and wife, but also for myself.  Thanks for the prayers and encouragement during my tough choice! 

Mother's Day Moments

Mother's Day is truly a day that I do not take for granted-not for one second.  Our pastor opened with the most beautiful prayer today in which he recognized mother's hard work, love, and dedication, but also lifted up the many women who long to be mothers and struggle to become one, and the mother's who have lost babies or grown children as well.  I have never heard a prayer so perfectly express the wonders, sorrows, and overall journey of motherhood.  As a person who spent quite a few Mother's Day longing to be a mother, a Mother's Day with a newborn, a Mother's Day experiencing a miscarriage, and a Mother's Day newly expecting and praying for miracles, I still feel it's a bittersweet holiday, but overall day that I am so incredibly grateful that I have been chosen to be MJ's mom as well as a daughter to my own wonderful mother!

It's a bit of a bummer not to be able to see my own mom on Mother's Day, but I am thankful for the time I shared with her just a couple weekends ago, and sooo thankful that she continues to slowly heal and improve.  This year, even more than others, I am so incredibly thankful for her life and the woman that she is to me! 

My Mother's Day this year was spent with Mat and MJ.  It was low key and relaxing, and I couldn't have asked for more.  We went to church this morning, and apparently MJ wanted to be with his mommy so bad that he pitched a fit in the nursery.  We've been going to this current church a little shy of a year and had never been paged to come and get him, but he just did not want to stop crying apparently.  He actually ended up coming into the service with us and did quite well.  He loved the music and kept using his sign language to say "more."  He folded his hands when it was time to pray and loved smiling at all those sitting around us.  Such a ham, but it was quite precious.  After church it was off to shop for flowers for our porch and garden and then on to lunch at Panera.  Luckily it was a beautiful day, so we were able to sit outside and enjoy our first meal outside of the season.  I use the term  "enjoy" loosely because MJ also decided to throw a fit at Panera as well, but the good news is we were outside, so we could continue to enjoy our meals and ignore the tantrum for a bit rather than scoop him up and out of the restaurant.  Then, we were off to a park for a little play time and to enjoy the beautiful sunshine.  Seriously, we have been waiting for some spring weather for a loooonnng time! 

This doesn't look like the face of a temper tantrum throwing toddler, does it?!?!

So thankful for this gift from God....and the beautiful springtime blooms!

My heart melts for him, it's true.

The playground we visited was pretty special.  A month or so ago, at my Mom's Group, a woman was asked to speak and share "her story", which was quite sad and inspirational at the same time.  To make a long story short, her 1 year old daughter had becoming suddenly ill.  Doctors were baffled and could find no reason behind her illness, but the mother persisted for answers, and it was determined that the baby had an extremely rare form of aggressive cancer.  After multiple rounds of chemotherapy and many surgeries, a year later the baby girl had passed away.  Amidst much grief and sadness this family has persevered and strengthened their relationship with Christ, amazingly.  Hard to even imagine going through anything so horrific much less being able to witness through your own journey!  Recently though, they had a playground built and dedicated in her honor.  It's located on a college campus, so it's quite secluded and quiet, and a great little family spot.  I know that they would love to see a happy, healthy, two-year old playing away!

Dedicated in honor of baby Courtney



MJ on one of the bench memorials

 Wheeee!

Of course he also loved to run away from us and play Peek-a-Boo!

After nap time, MJ and I spent some time outside planting my new flowers.  Of course he enjoyed digging in the dirt!!  Mat grilled some delicious steaks (with blue cheese crust..mmm), and we had a nice dinner as a family.  To top of the evening, MJ and I headed to Cold Stone for a little Cheesecake Fantasy while Mat stayed home to vacuum.  What more could a girl ask for? 







Easter Memories (and Meltdowns)

My first decoration made from my new Silhouette SD:

Yeah, okay-not perfect, but it was a fun first project.  Loving this new machine!  It cut out all the Easter eggs, flowers, and letters.  I just glued them together and attached them to ribbon to make a banner and voila!  A fun little decor for the house, which I actually took to my mom's.  She'd mentioned she didn't get to put out a single decoration due to fighting cancer and what not ;) so I thought a little color might perk her up!
We were lucky to have three days off work on top of the Easter weekend, so it was the perfect time to travel to St. Louis for a long holiday weekend.  We picked MJ up from school on that Wednesday and headed south!  It still seems so strange to me to "head south".  I became so accustomed to referring to everything as "up north" or "up there". 

First stop was Mat's parent's house where we enjoyed a nice dinner with the family.  Mema and Papa had a birthday present waiting for MJ-cars of course, so he was quite happy.  He loves jeeps and even got to take a ride with Papa and Daddy in the jeep!  We got to see our sweet niece, Lily. She's one cuddly and easy going baby!!!  Lots of family members think she looks like MJ!  I never saw the resemblance, but I am starting to.  What do ya think?

Then, it was headed to my parents house.  It was great to give mom a great big (well, more of a soft and gentle) hug finally!  MJ had hardly napped the whole day and was still going strong, but quickly crashed when we put him to bed.  The next couple days we were able to visit Mat's Gma. and Gpa. Immekus, our friends Jill and Daniel and their sweet Grace, and I even enjoyed a lunch with my best friend, Meg.  I can not even remember the last time the two of us enjoyed some quiet kid-free girl time just the two of us.  It was a treat!  We also attempted to do a little egg dyeing, which lasted all of about 5 minutes before MJ threw one of the eggs.  And, of course MJ let us know that he would like to ride in PopPop's jeep as well!

With Grandma and Grandpa Immekus

MJ's first attempt at egg dyeing  (Note to GiGi:  buy white eggs next time :) haha)

I'm ready to drive this Jeep, guys!

I was really excited to prepare MJ an Easter basket this year since I felt like this was the first year he'd kind of get it.  I've totally been that mom in the past that thinks people go waaaay overboard on Easter stuff, but yet found myself getting sucked into it this year.  So many cute little things I wanted to get for him, but had to draw the line somewhere.  Mom and I had fun sitting up one night putting his Easter baskets together.

On Easter morning, MJ found his Easter baskets and enjoyed all the goodies!  He also got to hunt for a few Easter eggs around the house. 

 Dressed and ready for Easter while savoring some Easter basket goodies!

 Exploring his Easter Basket from GiGi and Pop

 Of course there were cars in his Easter basket!  Showing PopPop his new Lighting McQueen car.

 Collecting eggs in his basket.  Wow, what a difference a year makes!

Stopping to look at his eggs and pose for Mommy.

 Our little family on Easter morning-2011

After our Easter morning fun, it was time to pack up and head to Grandma Keyes' house for the Keyes side of Easter.  MJ was excited to see another Easter basket (and a whole box of cars) waiting for him from Mema and Papa.  This little boy's not spoiled or anything, is he? 



More Easter goodies!

Unfortunately, this is about where all of my picture taking stops.  MJ was super happy, maybe slightly clingy, but quite excited when we first arrived at Grandma and Grandpa Keyes' house, but before long meltdown city began!  His worst ever meltdown had happened the night before.  We'd went to my parent's church for Easter service and put MJ in the nursery there.  We hadn't been in church for 15 minutes even, before I was paged to come get him.  I'd never seen him scream and cry the way he did that night.  I had to leave the entire building because he was so loud!  Then, the next day it began happening again while at Grandma and Grandpa Keyes.  It's a bummer, because it makes it extremely hard to visit with our family, and then he doesn't get good quality time with them as well.  We finally had to call it a day and hit the road and head back home to Iowa.  He wasn't a very happy guy in the car either.  I think it all boils down to not sleeping well while traveling.  He did not nap at all really for the entire trip, and after a couple days it catches up with him.  He doesn't sleep much in the car either, and his lack of sleep combined with being a two-year old makes for some big and ugly tantrums.  Oye!  

Between the Easter eggs and the tantrums, it's hard to always keep the true meaning of Easter as the main focus, but it truly is such a special and beautiful holiday.  I hope that as MJ gets older, I can instill that within him, and that he realizes that he is so special and loved by Jesus!