Hear the Beat!

I had my 16 week check up today, although I'm not technically 16 weeks until tomorrow, and heard the sweetest little sound once again.  Baby Keyes little heart was beating away at 150 bpm today.  I even was able to record it on a little recorder that we'll have put into a Build-a-Bear.  We made one of these with MJ, and I just loved listening to it throughout my pregnancy and now MJ has it in his room. 

The appointment was pretty quick and painless.  Everything seemed to be a-okay and at our next appointment is when they'll do the detailed 20 week ultrasound where they check for any abnormalities, and we can also find out the gender if we choose.  I'm pretty sure we're going to find out...not so sure if we're going to share it or keep it to ourselves.  Still some thinking to do on that one.  ;)  The doctor didn't seem all too concerned about my chest pain/vomiting attacks.  He suggested adding a liquid antacid to my already daily Prilosec.  The problem is that I really have no warning whatsoever when it strikes, so I'm not so sure that it's going to help, but we'll see.  I am just PRAYING that it doesn't continue throughout the whole pregnancy! 

Just when I was feeling so excited and glowing from my appointment, I received a phone call at home that totally caught me off guard.  When I answered the phone, the woman identified herself as a DHS worker.  I was honestly clueless what it was about until she began to further explain.  She was calling to offer us a foster placement!!!  Apparently they hadn't gotten the memo that we were on "hold" due to the pregnancy.  We received our official license in the mail a couple weeks ago and were already being asked to take a placement.  I stopped her before she gave any of the details and she wished us well.  Then the waterworks hit!  I can not believe how emotional I got.  I hadn't even taken the time to stop and consider how that phone call would feel.  I had spent quite a long time daydreaming of what that phone call would feel like...the day when we'd suddenly have a second, or second and third child, that could possibly be a forever child.  Words don't really seem to explain what a strange feeling it was to say "no" and then wonder what I just said no to.  Don't get me wrong, I am of course extremely happy to be pregnant and wouldn't change this for the world, but it's just an emotional thing...and I'm sure the hormones don't help!  Lots of friends have asked us what happened with the whole foster situation.  We had decided that it was something we were still interested in but just didn't feel like it was something we wanted to do right now any longer, but we'd like to consider it again in a year or two.  After going through all the process of becoming licensed...from home studies, to the wonderful letters so many friends and family wrote for us, to all the classes, -it's a lot of time and dedication to just walk away from.  If we simply are put on "hold" we would have 1-2 years and then could apply for them to let us back in without having to retake any classes or we can stay active by providing respite care.  We have decided to go ahead and do respite care.  We only have to do it 2-3 times a year to stay active and that way if/when we're ready to foster, we'll be all set and up to date.  Hopefully we're up for this, and we think we are, but I'm sure it will have it's tough moments.  We'll obviously take a break for awhile when our baby is born in December, but we're hoping we can help some families out before and after then.

My prayers are for our wonderful little miracle to continue growing and thriving with wonderful healthy results next month, and also for God to guide us and use our hearts to serve children in need through respite.