Soooo, it's been like six months since I have opened up this blog. I'm somewhere in between "big ol mama guilt" and "who am I kidding, I don't have time for this!" But here's the thing. I love writing. Seriously. I'm pretty sure that my brain operates differently than other brains because much of the voices inside my head are like me writing a book. Is anyone else like that? It's almost like I think of my day in terms of one long Facebook status update writing out the play by play inside my head. I'm a pretty quiet person in general, so many of my thoughts never even leave the safe confines of my brain, but that certainly doesn't mean there is a shortage of deep thoughts and feelings. So, honestly, I have no idea if I will stick with this. It's a super busy season in my life, and although the desire to write is most definitely there, the desire to completely zone out the few and far between moments I get to myself is often much, much stronger. But hey, it's a brand new year, and there's always hope for sticking with a goal and desire, right?! I'm not setting my sights high. There is no New Year's resolution to blog at least twice a week. I'm not placing the pressure on myself any longer to document each outing with my kids. Clearly, I couldn't keep it up. Truly though, I miss it. I miss the outlet, I miss sharing cute, sweet, and not so great things about my kids, and I miss having a place to write and share things I'm not often outgoing enough to say out loud. So,it's not really about documenting things for my kids or my family anymore. I'm being selfish, and it's just about me sharing what I want when I want and removing the pressure and expectations of myself.
I started this blog way back in 2008. It began solely with the purpose of updating our family members and close friends on our journey through infertility as we finally began the IVF process. I knew it would be hard for me talk about, so blogging about it seemed like the best way to share updates and ask for prayers. Little did I know how it would continue from there. I never gave it any thought past that really. If our IVF hadn't of been successful I'm not sure if I would have just stopped or what would have come from it, but thankfully from IVF, it followed me into documenting my pregnancy every little step of the way. Then, onto a huge move and documenting practically every breath of my first child. It became a great place to document milestones, share pics with friends and family (before Facebook was big), then vent about life...surprise pregnancies, miscarriages, the road to pursue adoption through fostering, work, more surprise pregnancies, two more beautiful children, another big move, and then it kind of just stopped! As many times as I swore I was getting back on track with recording and documenting all the exciting things happening in my kid's lives, it just no longer seemed manageable. I know plenty of other people do it, but I'm finally fessing up to the fact that I just can't. Not at the rate that I was anyhow. But as I said, I miss it, and I'm not really sure what direction I plan to continue on with blogging for now, but I know it will be a bit different one. It may be less of a scrapbook for my kids from here on out and more of a scrapbook of my heart. I debated on just starting fresh on a new blog, but "Our Winding Road" just seems so cozy. That title came with very little thought back in 2008 and was most certainly a hint of things to come. Had you told me that that "my road" would lead to me having three children, living in Saint Augustine and both Mat and I teaching, I would have never believed it!
Here I am though. I'm beginning 2016. I'm not one to set huge resolutions per say, but I love the idea of a fresh start, an inspired beginning, motivation to be a better me, and so on. While on Facebook the other day, an article that a friend shared caught my eye. Now let me be the first to admit that when I saw the source of the article, I scrolled on right past it. Then, a few minutes later I found myself scrolling right back up trying to find the article again. I'm not sure why, but something about the title just peaked my curiosity. "Sixteen Ways to Improve Your Life in 2016." I mean, who doesn't want to improve their life? But I knew nothing I was reading on FB, via Fox News was necessarily the key to my success. However, as I just read through #1 and #2, I was intrigued. These things spoke to me.
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2015/12/31/sixteen-ways-to-improve-your-life-in-2016.html
Like really spoke to me....and I knew I wanted to write! I'm on a mission this year to find more of myself again. So cheesy and maybe even self centered as it may be, here I go....again!
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