Heaven's Gain

I know that when someone passes away people always say that "they're in a better place" or they are "watching over us", but sometimes although my mind believes those words, my heart just doesn't get it. This is one of those times. Susan Griffies, a 33 year old mother of toddler twins, a minister's wife, a daughter, a friend, a teacher, and so much more passed away this week, and this news came as a shock to everyone.

Susan went in for an outpatient procedure. She had an angioplasty done on the brain to explore an artery. The details I know are fairly limited, but unfortunately she suffered a stroke during this procedure and then experienced rapid swelling of the brain and ultimately was pronounced brain dead. Susan had posted several comments on fb the 24 hours leading up to her procedure. I find great comfort and yet some irony in reading her own words:

Posted by Susan at 10:32 PM on Sept. 20
“God, you’re my refuge.
I trust in you and I’m safe!”
Psalm 91:2 The Message

Posted by Susan at 3:55 AM on Sept. 21
Headed to Tampa to take care of a little brain thang.

Posted by Susan at 8:39AM on Sept. 21
Bored. Waiting on the doc still :). Thinking about taking a nap!

Little did she know that her nap would become her ultimate resting spot. I guess it's the beauty, as well as the downfall of technology. You can know some one's moment by moment thoughts if they choose to share them. It just absolutely blows my mind that one minute you can be sharing your thoughts online and then gone from this world the next.

I did not know Susan well. I first met her shortly after I moved to Lakeland and I attended new teacher training in Polk County. We sat next to each other each day. She struck me as a bit shy, but I remember how she lit up when she spoke of her husband. We didn't keep in touch after that week, but little did I know that I would become best friends with a friend of hers and a member of her church. Through that, I found out Susan had struggled with fertility herself and had went through IVF. We reconnected a bit through email and had emailed back and forth a few times and she was very supportive in answering my questions and encouraging me in my journey. When MJ was born and was incredibly ill, she prayed for him and sent cards. I read her blog regularly and enjoyed the pictures and stories she always shared about her twins. That was about the extent of our communication, but when I visited Florida this March I had the pleasure of visiting with her for a few moments and getting caught up with each other's current jobs and locations. I wish I could have known her better, and even though I didn't I guess I just still feel like I can relate to her so much. Not only our ages and occupations, but the longing I know her heart felt to have those children. It's almost like a secret sisterhood bond that you share with other women that have traveled that road. It breaks my heart to know how badly she wanted those children, how passionately she loved them, and to think that she is no longer a part of their daily lives is just too sad to comprehend.

I have had a hard time grasping this loss. It will not have a great personal effect on my life, but my heart just aches for her husband, parents, children, and friends. No chance to say goodbye. No final letters, videos, etc. for her children. They will wonder where mommy is. They will not understand. Her husband will have a huge task. I'm not usually one to ask "why?" but I have been asking it a lot the last few days.

I can only imagine the days and months ahead will be so difficult for this family. Please join me in prayer for her family. Hug your children, spouses, parents, and friends remembering that each day is a gift. May we each have the kind of impact on others that Susan did.



I love this picture of her with her newborn twins! Such a tired mommy but a face that just lights up with LOVE for them.



This would be Susan's last Mother's Day to spend with her children and husband. I hope they will always know how much their mother adored them.